I bought $80 worth of whiskey and vodka yesterday and I think I want more

Why? 

Cause it’s the freaking weekend and I’m about to have me some fun.  It is Friday the 13^th afterall.

Truth though is I bought it for barter purposes.  I’ve never actually had a drop of alcohol or coffee drugs or cigarettes touch my lips. 

I’ve thought about it for some time now, but finally thought I’d pull the trigger after doing some very NOT urgent research on barter items I could use such as booze and cigarettes.  Turns out cigarettes go stale after just a few weeks if they aren’t used.  Imagine that.  Plants withering and dying.  That is essentially what cigarettes are.  Plant leaves wrapped up in paper.  Booze is another story however.

Luckily for me I have coworkers who were able to educate me on the various types of liquor and which would be best for bartering with according to general population usage and acceptance and for which types don’t go bad.  Here are some interesting things I learned.

Vodka is used mostly as a “mixer”.  This means people will put a “shot” with some other liquid like Coke or orange juice to make a drink.  A “shot” is one ounce of liquid.  Shot glasses hold exactly one ounce of liquid. 

As I typed that I realized I need a shot glass to measure this stuff.  My coworkers told me that if you’re bartering you’re going to be bartering on a per ounce basis.  Duh should’ve got some shot glasses at the store.  Wal-Mart here I come.

The bottles you buy at the liquor store are measured in milliliters so one ounce/shot of liquid converted to milliliters is 29.5735 milliliters.  The bottles I bought were the bottom shelf (cheap) bottles that were on sale and hold 1750 milliliters.  The breakdown for what I bought would be approximately .22 cents per shot. 

At bars they measure shots very precisely when serving customers to control and manage costs.  I asked my coworkers and they said the typical charge for one shot at a bar is $4.00-$6.75.  At just $4 per shot that is a markup of 1,818%.  At $6.75 per shot that is a markup of 3,068%.  No wonder the government got rid of prohibition.  Look at all that revenue they were missing out on in the form of taxes off of 3,000% markup sales.

I learned that the typical usage for shots, and this was based on the input from four coworkers sitting around me, is 1 to 2 per person per day/meal.   One bottle will last one person, at one shot per night after a meal, 58 days.  I got 3 bottles of vodka and 3 of whiskey.  If that usage holds true for an individual then my stash should last me about a year for bartering with a person.  That being said I think one more session of buying booze will be sufficient for us in our bartering needs.

Ashlee, my wife, said that while she was waiting in the car for me to buy the goods that she saw soooo many coming and going into the store that she was shocked.  She said she didn’t even think that the grocery store we frequent has as much traffic as that place we went to.  Not only is that pretty reassuring for me in regards to making this investment, but also kinda sad lol.  Oh well.

One interesting that happened was that I approached a store worker and said that I’d actually like to buy some booze to barter with.  The guy immediately said he was willing to barter with me.  He wanted to barter his timeshare in Park City for some ATVs.  He said that it was paid for, 33k, but that the site managers were saying that it was only currently worth 20k and that that was about the amount people had been offering him in cash for his place.  It was interesting to me how quickly the guy was open to bartering with me just mentioning the word.  To me that says that when things go to pot that bartering will be like second nature to people.  Maybe I’m being naïve (optimistic) in my assessment, but I really do think it’ll hold true.  I think in a barter situation I may be able to get a time share for a case of booze.

Two other funny things.  I told my coworkers, who were all anxious to see how it went since I’d been asking about it and know that I don’t drink, I bought generic booze.  I told them the guy at the store showed me the flavored stuff.  One coworker immediately piped up saying “Oh yes cinnamon whiskey is sooo good.”  Another coworker heard that and immediately said that cinnamon whiskey is an abomination.  He said it is like taking those candied cinnamon bears and having the bear sh*t in your mouth in liquid form.  I couldn’t stop laughing.

Yesterday after talking and hearing many different opinions I was sitting at my desk and then I said out loud so all could hear, “As a non-drinker it is interesting to hear all my coworkers opinions on booze”.  They all busted a gut.  So funny how particular people are on their drinking preferences.  In my opinion, go cheap, go broad and generic.