Insanity = doing the same thing, but expecting different results

I legit feel like a crazy person sometimes.  This week has been a rough one for me as it pertains to being an employee.  My buddy happened to email me and he was and is in the same place as I am.  I thought I'd post our conversation just for posterity sake and perhaps the big vast interweb can provide needed insight for me.

From: Tyler
Sent: Wednesday, June 15, 2016 1:45 PM
To: Brock Norton
Subject: Re: Gotta get ou

I get it man, I get it.  Ironically enough I had a really hard day yesterday as well.  I told Katie I am seriously considering taking a severance check and bouncing.

It is tough to show up everyday and grind for someone else.  I feel like if it was my business I would be way more motivated.

My suggestion on doing a flip together would be for a future flip.  I don't want to get in on this one since you guys are already well into the process.  Plus I want to see how much cheddar you can pocket.

I think you nailed it on the head man.... FREEDOM....... that elusive euphoria.  Isn't it funny how taking a day off feels so good?  Almost like that is how it should always be?  All I know is that I need to figure something out because what I am doing is not fulfilling me to the level that I need it 

to.

I still think that if I could get a house paid for to eliminate some of the risk that I could do really well as a business owner.  I feel like I have what it takes to be a successful owner.

From: Tyler
Sent: Wednesday, June 15, 2016 8:56 AM
To: Brock
Subject: Gotta get ou

Back at my desk again, today will be very similar to yesterday and all the days before that.

I am burnt out on this job man.  I keep watching videos about being successful and almost all of them reference doing something that you love.  Do you know what that is for you?  For me I still don't know what that means for me.  One Ted talk the guy asks "what work can you not do?"

So right now I am in a serious holding pattern and it is really messing with me.  Our company was officially acquired last week and now we have to wait 2-3 weeks for all the dust to settle.  I told Katie I really want to see what Oracle is going to offer me.  If it is anything less than 100k I will probably start looking for something else.

North Carolina is off the table for the time being.  We decided that life here is just better.  Closer to everything and lots of sports and activities for the kids.  Katie's dad also said that new zoning laws have locked up most of his land so that other homes can't be built right now.

Anyway I just need to find my passion and do something that I enjoy.

Maybe we do a flip together and kill it.

On Wed, Jun 15, 2016 at 10:17 AM, Brock wrote:

I don’t know what my passion is.

Yesterday was rouggggggh for me man.  Seriously rough.  It hasn’t been that bad for me for a while as far as hating being an employee goes.  Today its still there but I’m seriously just trying not to think about it so that I don’t get worked up and hopefully I can calm down a little bit more today.  It was bad enough that I kinda felt like I was panicking a little bit in the afternoon and felt like I needed to walk out of the room for a sec.  Then it got to the point where I was feeling major stress knots in my shoulder/neck area for the whole day.  Part of it was spurred on by me doing some tutorial for coding and just not loving it/being excited about it and feeling like I was dumb.  But there are other things too that caused it. 

A lot of it started a couple days ago.  Monday morning I called and text the Vestus guy, but he didn’t get back to me later and so I was bugged about that.  We didn’t miss out on any potential flip deals, but I was bugged that I, in part, am leaving some of my money earning fate up to this company that isn’t super responsive. 

So back to Monday.  My boss was out.  So I had one thing that I finished early that day, by like 10 AM I was done for the whole day literally.  So I took a longer lunch.  I get back and my coworker says something to the effect that I noticed you left at such and such time and are just getting back.  It equated out to about a two hour lunch.  So I said, “ya those fabled two hour lunches diego (our boss) takes was nice”.  He retorts well at least he takes someone with him and lets people know, which of course is total bull crap and just trying to imply that I did it wrong and he doesn’t want to say anything negative about his boss/long time friend (they’ve worked together for years and years and even went to college together).  So that bugged.  If I want/need to take a two hour lunch I should be able to.  ESPECIALLY if I literally finished everything by 10 that morning and had/did nothing the rest of the day work related.  So there was that.

Then Monday afternoon I got around to listening to that podcast of eventual millionaire about the painter I think I told you about.  Well turns out the guy wasn’t anywhere near being a millionaire in 2012!!!  In fact his business was close to being done.  He got punched in the face when he was trying to do a bid and hit rock bottom and said he needed to change cause what he was doing just wasn’t working for him.  A few months later and after hiring a few coaches he finally found one that was good.  He got his marketing turned around and set up.  He started delegating.  He’s now a millionaire.  He’s not even a good painter and in fact doesn’t do any of the actual painting.  So here I was, Monday afternoon, honestly just kind of pissed.  Here’s this guy who sucks at painting, is pushy/clueless enough to get punched in the face, that turns around his painting business and in about 4 years becomes a millionaire.  Duh.  Seriously???  WTF am I doing with my life was my thought.

So this painter guy has a good website, but he also has one that helps painters market their business, but its garbage.  Well I thought, my father in law has a painting business, so I sent in a message saying I wanted to help my father in law and the guy actually responded with some follow up questions about my father in laws business, which I answered and so maybe I can help him make more money and join along for the ride.  But really I may not even need him since if this guy is a millionaire and doesn’t do any of the actual painting himself, why can’t I do the same thing and just have a network of painters, or carpet cleaners or plumbers or or or?  But here’s the rub, I have no idea man.  I have no idea what I’m doing.  I have no idea if painting or house flipping or coding is where its at for me.  I don’t care about painting, but I don’t really care or am passionate about any one thing and think, “OHHH if I could just ___ then ya I’d love life”.  

I think Ashlee is right in that I just want freedom.  It doesn’t really matter what it is as long as it provides freedom and makes some money.  This is in response yesterday when I told her I don’t know what to do because I really want to quit my job.  Ashlee mentions I need to just find my passion and I said I’m not sure what that is whether it be house flipping, coding, finance.  Then she said she thinks I just need something that gives me freedom.

My father in law saying he hated working for his cousin as a painter even though it’s the exact same thing he does now.  He said now that he works for himself it is a night and day difference.  I couldn’t have been more envious of him when he said that.

So I also listened to another podcast yesterday, same one, eventual millionaire.  The guy said that at any one time 47% of your TOP employees are looking to leave.  Why?  Turns out employees need actual legit recognition every 7-10 days to stay optimally happy at a job.  Also when crappier workers, i.e. losers who were just trying to milk the clock and everything else and they just weren't doing the job and get away with being lazy and complacent it bugs these top people and they want out of that culture.  I feel like I’ve been in that environment for years now.  People just there to do their job, but not trying to be the most amazing.  I don’t think its malicious by any means, but certainly I don’t feel like the teams I’ve been on people are just trying to dominate it at their job.  I want to be fully engaged and just bust my chops doing it.

I just placed a hold on a book that supposedly helps you find your passion or something like that.  If its any good I’ll have to tell you about it.

The Ted talk comment just makes me think of Dirty Jobs the cable show.  There are some of those I couldn’t do, but most I think I could.

Super long email.  You’re welcome.  Its because I have so much to do at work that I was able to write it too haha…….sigh……….

From: Tyler
Sent: Wednesday, June 15, 2016 1:45 PM
To: Brock
Subject: Re: Gotta get ou

I get it man, I get it.  Ironically enough I had a really hard day yesterday as well.  I told Katie I am seriously considering taking a severance check and bouncing.

It is tough to show up everyday and grind for someone else.  I feel like if it was my business I would be way more motivated.

My suggestion on doing a flip together would be for a future flip.  I don't want to get in on this one since you guys are already well into the process.  Plus I want to see how much cheddar you can pocket.

I think you nailed it on the head man.... FREEDOM....... that elusive euphoria.  Isn't it funny how taking a day off feels so good?  Almost like that is how it should always be?  All I know is that I need to figure something out because what I am doing is not fulfilling me to the level that I need it 

to.

I still think that if I could get a house paid for to eliminate some of the risk that I could do really well as a business owner.  I feel like I have what it takes to be a successful owner.

Then I wrote....

It really is about freedom man.  I often think back to my high school days during the summers I worked for a guy who did sealcoating for asphalt driveways.  A very seasonal business since you can’t do it when its raining or snowing.  My brother said though that he thinks he made 100k the last year we worked for him.  That is something I’d legit consider with a business is one that makes the same amount of money I do now, but for six months out of the year and then take 6 months off for the freedom it’d bring.